Boys being boys. Yes. That. My son's (he's 8) teachers - every single one of them - said that he needed to work on his listening skills and patience. And since it came from every teacher (including a MALE teacher), I even asked about possible ADHD and paid to have him tested when there were no referrals (the teachers kept on saying that they want to wait). Nope, no ADHD. And then I talked to a mom who had two teenaged boys. She said that she saw that with her kids and that my son will likely grow out of it.
Note: the male teacher isn't old. He's not YOUNG, either. He's somewhere in the millennial age range.
Cynthia, Thank you for responding. Teachers, both men and women, who learn boys and girls learn differently can have a positive impact on boys and girls. Your challenge sounds like a typical one parents of boys face. Also, your mom is well intentioned and may be right. However, it's also possible that the her boys grew up in a different school climate that was more accepting of boy energy. I would recommend the following:
1) Are other parents experiencing the same thing? Try to get a sense of things.
2) If so, meet with them and try to find common trends and think about being collaborative and proactive with the school.
3) Try to have your ducks lined up in a row if you need to talk to teachers/administrators/or the school board.
if you go to r/teachers you will find it to be a never-ending collection of anecdotes from teachers, with many of them being examples where a boy throws a chair at staff and the admins fail to enact meaningful consequences.
the fact that Michael Gurian's video of men playfully hitting golf balls at one another was interpreted as excusing male violence is astounding in this context.
Situation A: boys engage in rough, consensual horseplay. Gurian interprets this as a potentially healthy form of male bonding. school admins interpret it as normalizing violence.
Situation B: a student actually throws a chair at a teacher. administrators decline to impose meaningful consequences, emphasizing trauma, disability, environmental influences or restorative approaches - ie actually excusing male violence.
Boys being boys. Yes. That. My son's (he's 8) teachers - every single one of them - said that he needed to work on his listening skills and patience. And since it came from every teacher (including a MALE teacher), I even asked about possible ADHD and paid to have him tested when there were no referrals (the teachers kept on saying that they want to wait). Nope, no ADHD. And then I talked to a mom who had two teenaged boys. She said that she saw that with her kids and that my son will likely grow out of it.
Note: the male teacher isn't old. He's not YOUNG, either. He's somewhere in the millennial age range.
Cynthia, Thank you for responding. Teachers, both men and women, who learn boys and girls learn differently can have a positive impact on boys and girls. Your challenge sounds like a typical one parents of boys face. Also, your mom is well intentioned and may be right. However, it's also possible that the her boys grew up in a different school climate that was more accepting of boy energy. I would recommend the following:
1) Are other parents experiencing the same thing? Try to get a sense of things.
2) If so, meet with them and try to find common trends and think about being collaborative and proactive with the school.
3) Try to have your ducks lined up in a row if you need to talk to teachers/administrators/or the school board.
4) Also, feel free to reach out if you need help. seank@gibm.us or seank@airr.pro
We don't listen because no one is saying anything worth listening to.
interestingly:
"androphobia" was a term i first conceived of during the great "man vs bear" discussions of 2024, but i think it applies equally here.
Yes. It is something rarely discussed. Gurian does a great job explaining it here.
if you go to r/teachers you will find it to be a never-ending collection of anecdotes from teachers, with many of them being examples where a boy throws a chair at staff and the admins fail to enact meaningful consequences.
the fact that Michael Gurian's video of men playfully hitting golf balls at one another was interpreted as excusing male violence is astounding in this context.
Situation A: boys engage in rough, consensual horseplay. Gurian interprets this as a potentially healthy form of male bonding. school admins interpret it as normalizing violence.
Situation B: a student actually throws a chair at a teacher. administrators decline to impose meaningful consequences, emphasizing trauma, disability, environmental influences or restorative approaches - ie actually excusing male violence.
Casey, great examples. Thank you for adding to the conversation.